Is this how it works for you? The source of my stress and frustration, the days I’m pissed off or depressed, is caused by what I call “The Gap” – the chasm between my current reality and the reality I see in my mind as the ideal future – the one I am working to create. I think this happens to entrepreneurs more than they care to admit.
In her book “Loving What Is” (recommended!) Byron Katie says “The only time we suffer is when we believe a thought that argues with what is.” She means the thoughts and reasoning we create to explain The Gap – often lies with which we sabotage ourselves.
As human beings, we have to come to grips with the fact that the twain shall never be exactly aligned. In fact, you and I share the incredible elasticity of mind and soul that makes for constant expansion of what that ideal reality looks like – so that the closer we get to being there, the more that vision evolves into something even better, clearer, and larger.
Therefore, on bad days, that beautiful vision can mean despair.
I understand, and probably so do you, that principle and accept that life is a work in progress. The real problem for me comes not when I recognize that my life falls short of the awesome vision I have set before me, but when I feel like I’m losing ground, that the bastards really are winning, that The Gap between me and the best version of myself, my life, or the world as I want to reshape it is slipping away.
I had that feeling recently and it threw me into a real funk, which is dangerous, because I myself live and also drive others based upon my belief in that vision. If I “lose it” for even a few days, it’s going to carry a serious cost – not to mention, one cannot reclaim the time lost despairing about a situation.
I’m learning to snap myself out of negative thought cycles and stay in the “zone”, while not condemning myself for having feelings. I laugh all the time and I am accepting that it’s okay to cry once in a while and feel how I feel as long as I don’t stay there.
H/T to Brad Feld for being brave to blog about his dealing with depression.
Leave a comment below and let me know how YOU handle those times, I’d be interested. Let’s keep hacking life together. Now go kick ass.